How are you?
Lately I get asked this question about a hundred times a day. Mostly because i have the kind of face that sells out my emotional or physical state no matter how much i try to hide.
Well , to answer that question ,i am not sure. This week i have been going through the motions, largely due to lack of sleep. I had read about insomnia rearing its ugly head in the last trimester but i hadnt expected it at this level. It hurts to sleep on either side of my hips , so i have to repeatedly flip like a fish as i try and find some form of comfort . I had read about the discomfort of growing larger and feeling like you are carrying multiple pumpkins bouncing around the tummy and hitting against the ribs and other organs, but i still wasn’t ready to feel it constantly. I had read about the waddling, I didn’t know why it happened until i began to experience the uncomfortable pelvic pressure that everyone warns you about, its the only comfortable way to walk ,waddle like a penguin. The swelling feet i have began to get used to. It just gets overwhelming when all these different symptoms assail you all at once. The physical exhaustion is constant. Even when i get lucky and get a full nights rest , the moment i hit the floor the old familiar fatigue hits me. It has become like that favourite jacket that you wear everyday until its faded and torn .
To be honest lately my healthy eating habits are beginning to exit the building. As i write this i am wondering what ingredients i have in the house so that i can bake some sugary cake. Its the only thing that makes me smile nowadays.Food. I want to eat Dairyland Vanilla ice cream, i want that yummy berry slushie from Urban eatery.I want a Java bacon cheese burger, I want Fish and chips from Four bistro and fried chicken and chips from Mc Fries with salt and vinegar and a little chilly sauce. Yeah just a little or it will awaken the Heart burn beast from hiding. That beast only assaults me at 2am in the morning . ..urggh.
All these things happening to me have made me despondent and sad, i don’t want to dress up , or comb my hair or call a friend. I just want to lie here on the sofa and talk to my baby . Enjoying the best part of my day as the baby happily kicks and moves around my belly. You little ninja you,i cant wait to meet you . All my troubles will surely fly away the day i see your face.
So yeah that’s how i am.
34 weeks and some days…