The narrow way
Matthew 7:13-14 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Narrow Way
13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because[a] narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
It has taken me a while to gather the courage to post this but i feel the urging within my soul to tell my story . I consider myself a writer and the best kind of writing is done when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open. No masks, no hiding behind the words ,there is a lot of freedom in expressing yourself truthfully. Here i am setting myself free and hopefully encouraging others on the same journey.
I have been a Christian since i was a child . I was raised as one, truthfully i have strayed from the path in my adulthood but i did find my way back and in the past five years i feel like i have grown to know God more than my whole life combined. The thing about this relationship is i didn’t really truly know what it meant to follow Christ until i understood what obedience was. I am finally on that journey .
Last year on October 26th 2015 i left employment. i was 8 months pregnant.There were layoffs happening at my place of work ,five people were to be cut from the department and so most of 2015 was spent in anxiety not knowing who or what was going to happen or even when. Finally in October we were informed that the jobs would be cut by the end of the month a few days later we were told that if anyone wanted to volunteer to be laid off there was going to be a severance/pension package available . I talked to my husband about it and we prayed and we felt like this was an answered prayer and i volunteered my name. It had been my desire to be a stay at home mum even before i met my husband i felt that this was what God wanted me to be and when i met George he felt the same way and we decided to keep praying about it until the right time.However we didn’t know how we were going to go about it sorting out all our bills and obligations. It never seemed like the right time for me to leave employment.Now here i was ,pregnant and an opportunity had arisen,with the package i was getting it would be like still receiving a salary and i could stay home for at least a year before thinking about pursuing other income generating activities. It was perfect, it was scary. You have to understand i have never been unemployed i didn’t know what it was not to have a salary, everything was always taken care off. Now after praying and hearing the go ahead God was asking me to trust him and go on journey of complete reliance on him.
So i took it. I took the leap. Most of the people in my life think i was mad to do it.I was bombarded with many statements.. How can you leave work? You are about to give birth! How can you leave your job and rely totally on your husband, men cant be trusted! It must be your pregnancy hormones, do not do it. ..Only a few encouraged me and prayed with me and understood that i was embarking on a journey of obedience.So the agreement was i would receive my severance the next month and my pension dues within 90 days.
The next week after leaving work my baby was born,yes she came a month early! How crazy is that..everything seemed to be aligned! My motherhood journey had began and now i could enjoy being with my baby with no pressure of worrying about having to go back to work. It has been so rewarding to see her everyday, to see every milestone .I have no regrets.
I did receive my severance but four months later i am still waiting for my pension dues. There have been delays with the processing and no amount of praying and phone calls or email correspondence has brought it forth and so i continue to wait. It has been financially difficult as the one income is quickly sucked into the vortex of bills and obligations. The past two months have been the hardest as we have basically been living day to day ,we have been blessed as we haven’t lacked a single thing and we continue to WAIT and pray.
So our wallets are empty right now but our hearts are happy and at peace. I continue to trust that eventually i will receive my dues sooner than expected . We both know that all things will work together for good and although some days we are sad and worry about what the next day will bring. We can trust that God has it all under control . So many may think we are crazy and stupid. I mean i should just GO and get another job right? It seems like the easiest option so that we are able to live a life of comfort and be able to acquire the things we desire. But that is not what i have been called to do right now. I have writing projects in the pipeline and they are not fueled by the need for money.I want to use my talents and my gifts to bless others and bring them closer to God.For my time on earth is short . So i pray for his strength to.. trust and obey , for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey! ( a song i learned as a child)
1 Corinthians 3:19New International Version (NIV)
19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”[a];
James 4:14 New King James Version (NKJV)
14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.